does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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