No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
