Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
