Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
