what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
