I cockslap morals
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize