i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
