I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
