mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
