Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
