It's like a parade of train wrecks.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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