i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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