are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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