The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
