Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
