Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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