whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
