Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
