i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
