He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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