all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
