im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize