Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
