So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
