Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
