She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
