I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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