The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
