you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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