either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
