in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
