Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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