Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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