Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
