Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
