Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
