she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
