I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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