Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
