people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
