Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
