These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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