..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize