Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
