i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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