Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
