Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
