The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
