LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize