nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
