Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
