I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
