I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I am available for nakedness
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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