Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
