Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize