Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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