She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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