Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
