it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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