My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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