But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
