Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
