It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize