My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
