Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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