Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
