ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
