I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
