I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
