and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
