It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
