I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
