She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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